Memorability’s Books: True Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
Love helps you to stay healthy.Love helps your memory. Love helps your mood. Love changes your brain. Even though falling in love makes you fearless and irrational, love is good for you. (And as I mentioned in my post on Memorability’s Book Club, books stimulate your brain, which keeps your brain healthy. Stimulating your brain can, potentially, improve your memory.)
Since love helps your brain to stay healthy, how can you love better?
How can you improve your understanding of love?
It can be difficult to get this right.
The Book: True love, by Thich Naht HahnThis is a brilliant, very practical guide on how to love well (and I think it leads to being loved better).
Why will you love it?It is super practical and inspires you to make changes. The advice he gives on how to love better, is simple and profound at the same time.
About Thich Nhat HanhThich Nhat Hanh is a buddhist monk, born in Vietnam in 1926. He has been a lecturer at Princeton, a peace activist and founder of several buddhist monasteries. ‘His life has since been dedicated to the work of inner transformation for the benefit of individuals and society.’ (from plumvillage.org)
On the beauty of True LoveHe starts by describing the four elements of true love according to Buddhist philosophy 1. Maitri- the desire and ability to bring joy. 2. Karuna- the desire and ability to ease pain. 3. Madita- joy. . 4. Upeksha- a sense of freedom in the relationship. Simple and profound, right?
What is different about this philosophy?There must be an ability to bring joy, to feel joy and to ease suffering. In order to do this, more is required than just wanting to bring joy and end suffering. In order to do this well, you need to listen and understand, with no judgement. You need to go beyond your interpretation of events or perceived insults and injuries. You need an ability to communicate. As Thich Nhat Hanh says, ‘Training is needed in order to love properly; and to be able to give happiness and joy, you must practice deep looking toward the person you love. Because if you do not understand this person, you cannot love properly. Understanding is the essence of love.’ Understanding is fundamental. You need to understand when, and how to respond, when to stay calm, and when to encourage. It may be good to apply this philosophy to yourself as well. What will change for you? You will enjoy yourself. You will be more inclined to celebrate life, and be gentle with yourself. With these changes, your capacity to love others will improve as well. ‘Taking care of yourself, you can support your loved one and reestablish joy in your relationship’ Words of wisdom from the author.
Taking care of yourself, you can support your loved one and reestablish joy in your relationship Thich Nhat Hanh